Keep me in your thoughts please...

[Neil B]

Hi all,
As you all know, I value the friendship and membership of this site (planet) immensely and I ask for a small favour now..........

Last Sunday night, after a 12 month fight, my father finally died. I'd hinted in another topic recently that times had been a bit tough!

In this 12 month period he underwent a triple heart bypass, plus valve replacements. He had diabetes (type 2), kidney failure, fluid on the lungs and chest and a host of other complications including 12 weeks in intensive care unable to come around from the operation.
He fought his way back to really good fitness and was out exercising and walking on most days, although he packed his golf in (what a fighter).

In June he was operated on again to remove a small portion of one lung. He was okay until 10 days ago when he was re-admitted to hospital with pneumonia and he lost his final battle last Sunday, 2 weeks short of his 82nd birthday. He went peacefully - I was there at the time.

The funeral is on Tuesday 14th August and I would appreciate your thoughts for us all at this time.

I know other members have been through this in recent years and would value your support and ideas on how you got through the initial period.

Sorry to drop this on you all on a weekend, a time for fun, but hey, what are friends for, if not unburdening yourself now and again.

Chris (Werner) - special thanks you so much for your support and kind words over the last few months and especially for your support last week - my mother appreciated your thoughts too - back to Starchaser soon eh? I won't have any more time off for hospital visits!

[Liquid Len]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, and can only say I sympathize. I have had my own grief to deal with lately, with a friend dying. How do you get through it? Force yourself to eat from time to time, and just wait. Different things will bring back the feelings for the next few months, especially waking up after dreaming about things.
Peace.

[arela]

all of my sympathy

[dawman]

Best Regards To Your Family,

As it will be strengthened in such trying times.

Sometimes we must take it on the chin.




Stay Strong Brotha' Man Neil B.,

[garyb]

i'm really sorry for your loss. thankfully, your father's time of suffering is over....

[Nestor]

Neil, friend… I’m sorry to read this…

We all know something for sure when we are born, and this is that we are all going to die. But regardless of this touching fact, very well known from day one of our early days, we still have hard times when we need to say “good bay” to somebody who has been close to us for such a long time, particularly a direct member of our family or a very closed friend.

I have always thought that sorrow is not that bad, dear Neil; perhaps the real bad thing is to run away from it, searching for a false light, which does not give daylight but only darkness to our problems. I deeply support the idea of getting in touch with our own deepest thoughts, and face any truth, it doesn’t matter how hard it can be. We are alive for two reasons: learning and loving.

In that situation, what I would do, if I were you, is to think about all those great moments you had with this person… all the special instants you shared in the fields of life. I would also thank him from my heart for having giving me the life and enjoy today, for all the efforts a father does to give us shelter, food and cloth, because this has been nothing else but love, this is the translation of the actions of a good father or mother.

Think about all the good advices he gave you when you were a child, a young man, and an adult. Go through all these memories with care and love, and if you need to cry, cry like children do… without thinking that a man cannot cry, because this is not true. We can and need to cry, so to water our own inner world with those gentle feelings that can only make you a better human being.

Try to remember anything that comes from your father that you can distinguish as wisdom, and challenge yourself to honour his gifts for the rest of you life, putting into practice all the good things he taught you. Make his presence aware of that, and full his heart with the conviction that all his efforts have been for a good reason, because you, you worth it Neil.

You are a very warm person I can feel, somebody with good feelings and good natured, too, so take advantage of your softness of essence and sensitivity, and let it come up to the surface of your person.

Pain, when understood, makes of us, better human beings.

I hope this final thought gives you some support: I think about you my friend, and raise my deepest thoughts to connect myself with you. Let now continue live, with a much and bigger commitment to goodness and goodwill, a commitment you have never even dreamt about! Keep walking forward now, dear friend, with a even richer luggage for the Path.

[hubird]

My deepest sympathy for your loss, Neil.
I lost my dad when he died in a hotel in France when he was on his way to my sister who's living in Lyon.
You at least had the blessing of accompaning him on his last fight.
Strength to you and your family.
huub

[bassdude]

At 82 he's had a good innings. My thoughts are with you and your family mate.

[alfonso]

A hug. I lost one of my dearest friends few days ago...tough times. Anyway, good that he went peacefully and that he had a long life with such a loving family.

[BingoTheClowno]

Sincere condolences.

[kensuguro]

you have my full support, whether it reaches you and your family or not. My thoughts are with all that went through this with your father.

Now all we have left, is to gather together with those that remain, and reminisce about the great days. Perhaps this is a good excuse to rekindle lost family ties, or long forgotten friends. It is a time to hurt, and a time to smile at the love that gathers. We try to make sense, try to make fiction, a fact. Wishing that some day, the unsettling truth will find a place in our hearts. We may try to create peace with sorrow and anger... laugh with friends to forget the sadness, gather with loved ones to remember the good ol' days, do the things your father would have wanted to do, explore new territories. In the end, what we do to overcome the ordeal of death, is exactly the opposite. We celebrate life.

[eliam]

His soul opened its wings like a beautiful butterfly emerging from its chrysalid and arising into the Light, leaving behind his earthly garments, even more alive than when he was walking among us! This is a cause of rejoicing, even if we aren't used to see it that way.

My full support goes to you and your family, to strengthen your soul and heal all the emotional sores.

É

[braincell]

I don't think that happened. I think he no longer exists but I hope you feel better soon and will remember the good things about him in the future.

[Lima]

It's so sad to hear about this, you have to be strong now! All my sympathy to you Neil.

[FrancisHarmany]

Best of luck in this difficult period! You have my thoughts.

[ChrisWerner]

...back to Starchaser soon eh? I won't have any more time off for hospital visits!

Yes Neil, that´s the way, looking forward, Space will have us back very soon... with a dedication I would suggest...

I am glad that I could help you.

[bizarre]

my sympathy and thoughts to you and your family ....

[Shroomz~>]

Sad to hear this.
All the best to you Neil.

[H-Rave]

Personally, I think We all live on in peoples memory of us and the more positive thoughts we have, the better obviously.Bon courage, mes condoleances.


Richard Hargrave

[Neil B]

Thanks all for your kind words & support.
The funeral etc went really well.
Nothing else to say really except thanks again.