I think that when you give your word for something, when you compromise yourself to something, you MUST do what you have said you will do, otherwhise, why did you say that? How dífficult it is to deal with people that are never reliable about what they say... It can be so extremely frustrating, as well as totally exhausting!
Unfortunately, I´m dealing with people like this constantly in here, it seem this is a common problem in Sound America I have to recognise..., and it´s KIILING FRUSTRATING...
You can´t know when somebody will actually fulfill their speach... perhaps it was another moment of boheme through the ear, or just some amusement for the fun to talk about... or who knows...
I really dislike, deeply dislike to the disgust, when people tell you they WILL do this and they WILL do that, and they never ever DO what they said!
Imagine a situation where you are looking for a job, and somebody tells you: "Oh, yes great! I´m going to take you next week, so get ready for it, the post is for you!" Then you realise that it was just a moment of let say... "good will", if I may... Or think about somebody asking you to write with presicion all your musical experiencies so they can read what you have done, you go through it for a full week, and then, the person tells you: "Oh, sorry, I forgot about you... we actually have already taken somebody else. Anyway, you can always use your gathering of information for somebody else".
How inconscious a person can be about others people´s lives...
I hope everybody in the world to be a little more concequent with their words, it´s so, but so important.
Please, Z people, think about that just in case...
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Nestor on 2003-08-03 19:27 ]</font>
About the RELIABILITY of your WORDS... (!)
Nestor, did something in Z get you to mention this...? I guess (hope) not.
Anyways, I totally agree with you. Recently I'm most disappointed with people who say "I will be there at 7pm" and they never come. Not to say that he/she would give me a call and say "I'm not coming". Or otherwise send a message. That's VERY FRUSTRATING!
Anyways, I totally agree with you. Recently I'm most disappointed with people who say "I will be there at 7pm" and they never come. Not to say that he/she would give me a call and say "I'm not coming". Or otherwise send a message. That's VERY FRUSTRATING!
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Nestor
- Posts: 6676
- Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2001 4:00 pm
- Location: Fourth Dimension Paradise, Cloud Nine!
Nobody can posibly live well without fulfilling some basic needs... To be able to trust somebody it´s for me, a basic need.
Good one there,
I´ll post some photos as said, but in this thread I´m talking about serious matters, about giving your word in serious situations like the examples I just gave.
I don´t think that this is happening absolutely everywere the way it happens in Sound American countries... I have been abroad for quite a few years, and in UK, people would rather keep their word, not always and not everybody, but most of the time and most of people. This is my direct experience, perhaps a coincidence?. In UK I could experience a much greater sence of responsability, no way, much greater than in here. People would meet you at the time the meeting was specified, here everybody is always late, for instance.
Oh... no, don´t worry, I´m not talking to anybody in here, I´m just fed up with those bussinessman like people and dealing with lately, and their words worth some dirty dried patatoes, i.e. nothing! The situation has been like this since I´ve arrived to Chile, and all along the 2 years of being here, so it´s teresome, that´s why I came here, to you, to speak about and see what people think of this, and what they experience by their own.
I don´t think I´m the best example of perfection, not at all, but I try hard to be as correct as posible with time and promises.
When somebody asures you he´s going to do or tell, or build something in such and such a way and such and such a day and this something is important, you can get into real trouble, can´t you?
If you are not doing what you say, you are actually lying, an lies conver others peoples lives in a hell.
When your words reach a life-dependent situation for others, you actually are playing games with people's lives id you do not do what you intended to do.
If somebody does it just out of negligence, well... it´s a mistake, but still it´s a mistake. The problem is when people get accostumed to this because it´s confortable becoming liers.
Good one there,
I´ll post some photos as said, but in this thread I´m talking about serious matters, about giving your word in serious situations like the examples I just gave. I don´t think that this is happening absolutely everywere the way it happens in Sound American countries... I have been abroad for quite a few years, and in UK, people would rather keep their word, not always and not everybody, but most of the time and most of people. This is my direct experience, perhaps a coincidence?. In UK I could experience a much greater sence of responsability, no way, much greater than in here. People would meet you at the time the meeting was specified, here everybody is always late, for instance.
Oh... no, don´t worry, I´m not talking to anybody in here, I´m just fed up with those bussinessman like people and dealing with lately, and their words worth some dirty dried patatoes, i.e. nothing! The situation has been like this since I´ve arrived to Chile, and all along the 2 years of being here, so it´s teresome, that´s why I came here, to you, to speak about and see what people think of this, and what they experience by their own.
I don´t think I´m the best example of perfection, not at all, but I try hard to be as correct as posible with time and promises.
When somebody asures you he´s going to do or tell, or build something in such and such a way and such and such a day and this something is important, you can get into real trouble, can´t you?
If you are not doing what you say, you are actually lying, an lies conver others peoples lives in a hell.
When your words reach a life-dependent situation for others, you actually are playing games with people's lives id you do not do what you intended to do.
If somebody does it just out of negligence, well... it´s a mistake, but still it´s a mistake. The problem is when people get accostumed to this because it´s confortable becoming liers.
Sometimes it's a matter of perspective...
I used to play social tennis and had arranged to meet a German visitor at the courts at 7pm one evening. Well, myself and my doubles partner stopped off for a beer beforehand and then walked to the court.
As we approached we could see the German standing there just staring in our direction. Before we got in audio range he started gesturing at his watch.
As soon as we were in earshot he began talking, all the while still pointing at his watch and shaking his wrist: "You said you vould be here at 7pm. Now it is 7:12pm. You are late. Why is this ?"
"Ummm.... well, ah.... Are we late ?"
"Yes, it is now 12 minutes past the time agreed. Why are you late ?"
"Um... we stopped off for a beer."
"So, a beer ? While I was waiting here ?"
"Er, yeah, sorry."
Things were never the same between us. We'd mortally insulted him.
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But in business I always made sure that if I was asked to do something I'd do it exactly as promised. This sounds simple yet often I find that you need to ask people twice or they think you're not serious.
And in management my measure of efficiency was always: "Do I need to follow up on this order, or can I be certain it will be done by asking once?"
To me this "ask once" test is the same as your question about keeping your word - if you say something is going to happen or that you will complete something then you must do everything possible to make sure it happens.
The only people I meet who regularly fail this are tradesmen who NEVER arrive at the appointed time and never feel obliged to explain why.
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Spirit on 2003-08-05 00:58 ]</font>
I used to play social tennis and had arranged to meet a German visitor at the courts at 7pm one evening. Well, myself and my doubles partner stopped off for a beer beforehand and then walked to the court.
As we approached we could see the German standing there just staring in our direction. Before we got in audio range he started gesturing at his watch.
As soon as we were in earshot he began talking, all the while still pointing at his watch and shaking his wrist: "You said you vould be here at 7pm. Now it is 7:12pm. You are late. Why is this ?"
"Ummm.... well, ah.... Are we late ?"
"Yes, it is now 12 minutes past the time agreed. Why are you late ?"
"Um... we stopped off for a beer."
"So, a beer ? While I was waiting here ?"
"Er, yeah, sorry."
Things were never the same between us. We'd mortally insulted him.
--
But in business I always made sure that if I was asked to do something I'd do it exactly as promised. This sounds simple yet often I find that you need to ask people twice or they think you're not serious.
And in management my measure of efficiency was always: "Do I need to follow up on this order, or can I be certain it will be done by asking once?"
To me this "ask once" test is the same as your question about keeping your word - if you say something is going to happen or that you will complete something then you must do everything possible to make sure it happens.
The only people I meet who regularly fail this are tradesmen who NEVER arrive at the appointed time and never feel obliged to explain why.
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Spirit on 2003-08-05 00:58 ]</font>
there are lots of reasons for a person to not do what he/she said.
he/she might have only agreed to do something out of a sense of public,but not private obligation(not hurting someone's feelings, for example).
he/she might have forgotten(convieniently or not)what was promised.
God may have nullified the contract(convieniently or not,the train may have exploded,grandma died,an avalanche,hit by a bus,massive brain hemmorage,etc.).
a greedy/HUNGRY man got a better/more pressing offer in the meantime
still,if one wants to be taken seriously,it helps to have a reputation for doing what you say.i suspect that even in chile there are a whole lot of people doing what they say because sometimes it's nessessary.my guess my poor Nestor,is that your desires have a very low priority in that part of the world.it'll take time to become established,so that the locals are proud you live there...........
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: garyb on 2003-08-05 01:58 ]</font>
he/she might have only agreed to do something out of a sense of public,but not private obligation(not hurting someone's feelings, for example).
he/she might have forgotten(convieniently or not)what was promised.
God may have nullified the contract(convieniently or not,the train may have exploded,grandma died,an avalanche,hit by a bus,massive brain hemmorage,etc.).
a greedy/HUNGRY man got a better/more pressing offer in the meantime
still,if one wants to be taken seriously,it helps to have a reputation for doing what you say.i suspect that even in chile there are a whole lot of people doing what they say because sometimes it's nessessary.my guess my poor Nestor,is that your desires have a very low priority in that part of the world.it'll take time to become established,so that the locals are proud you live there...........
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: garyb on 2003-08-05 01:58 ]</font>
Yes, an acquaintance of mine breaks his promises all the time. He will never say "no" outright. Instead it's always yes, or maybe or probably. I'm certain it's because he simply can't face up to people and say "no" because he wants to avoid even this tiny amount of confrontation. Instead he's happy to cop the curses behind his back.
Odd... but I think I understand
Odd... but I think I understand
People around me constantly fail to their word, and unfortunately, they loose credibility, they loose opportunity, they loose trust and they loose a sense of honor which comes from fulfilling promises. That is a bit sad for them, but I try with all my might not to criticize their mistakes and not to do it too, because they are the ones who loose, even though it can cause inconvenience and delays to others. Although the inconvenience in others is nothing compared to the effect of breaking one's promises.
This is how it is, and we are all here to correct our mistakes, but it makes it almost impossible to build something serious and fruitful with unreliable and erratic personalities, so what can we do? I've been trying for years to reunite people to make music and create a band to compose and diffuse constructive music. You'd not believe how many broken promises I've witnessed! It's apalling, but as I like to say, I work alone, so at least I won't let myself down!
But this is really stupid, because instead of having nice people around with whom I could co-create nice music and share the pleasure and the royalties, I'll have (unless things change) to hire performers whom I'll pay for the job and who will not benefit from the success which will occur, if it does. So be it.
This is how it is, and we are all here to correct our mistakes, but it makes it almost impossible to build something serious and fruitful with unreliable and erratic personalities, so what can we do? I've been trying for years to reunite people to make music and create a band to compose and diffuse constructive music. You'd not believe how many broken promises I've witnessed! It's apalling, but as I like to say, I work alone, so at least I won't let myself down!
But this is really stupid, because instead of having nice people around with whom I could co-create nice music and share the pleasure and the royalties, I'll have (unless things change) to hire performers whom I'll pay for the job and who will not benefit from the success which will occur, if it does. So be it.
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Nestor
- Posts: 6676
- Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2001 4:00 pm
- Location: Fourth Dimension Paradise, Cloud Nine!
I think we, people are somehow, divided within ourselves and this mind division reflects in the outside world.
If you were to be ONE withing yourself, it would be much esier that it is, to actually do what you say you are going to do, but this multiplicity of minds we have within ourselves makes people unresponsible.
Falling Lifs, enoumous train desasters, car accidents, buildings crumbling down, hundreds of totally unnecesary medical negligence; sadness, problems, depressions, are just a few of the consequences of not keeping your word! It is certainly not a light matter...
If you were to be ONE withing yourself, it would be much esier that it is, to actually do what you say you are going to do, but this multiplicity of minds we have within ourselves makes people unresponsible.
Falling Lifs, enoumous train desasters, car accidents, buildings crumbling down, hundreds of totally unnecesary medical negligence; sadness, problems, depressions, are just a few of the consequences of not keeping your word! It is certainly not a light matter...
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