In case you didn't see it, here's the world's funniest joke, something that supposedly works equally well across all nations and cultures.
<b>Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"</b>
This story has some more insights:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/england/2297365.stm
For example, Germans apparantly find just about everything funny; while Americans like jokes where someone is made to look stupid.
Worth a read !
World's funniest joke
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algorhythm
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- Location: Tennessee, USA
- Contact:
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John Cooper
- Moderator
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OK, try this trick:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do
> NOT
> use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
> Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add
> another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the
> total?
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> Scroll down for answer..
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> Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe
> it? Check with your calculator!
>
I've actually got another VERY funny joke, but it involves s*x, so maybe I can't post it...
ps: Algo, I'm on holidays at the moment, so maybe that explains it!
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do
> NOT
> use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
> Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add
> another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the
> total?
>
>
>
>
> Scroll down for answer..
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> Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe
> it? Check with your calculator!
>
I've actually got another VERY funny joke, but it involves s*x, so maybe I can't post it...
ps: Algo, I'm on holidays at the moment, so maybe that explains it!
)
If Ontik can get away with it, so can I. A friend sent this to me - completely sexist and unreasonable but I laughed... Of course I'll understand if it's deleted. A quite inappropriate post to celebrate my 1000th message 
>> If Men Wrote Problem Pages
>>Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
>>
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
>>
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
>>
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves
you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal.
>>
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
>>
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
>>
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
>>
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
>>
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
>>
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish. Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
>>
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
>>
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten To cook him a nice meal.
>>
>> If Men Wrote Problem Pages
>>Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
>>
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
>>
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
>>
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves
you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal.
>>
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
>>
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
>>
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
>>
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
>>
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
>>
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish. Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
>>
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
>>
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten To cook him a nice meal.
>>
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algorhythm
- Posts: 1139
- Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2001 4:00 pm
- Location: Tennessee, USA
- Contact:
Spirit, congrats for being guru now 
though you could still improve on jokes
like
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1994-12.html
or
http://www.darwinawards.com/personal/pe ... 02-21.html
cheers, Tom
though you could still improve on jokeslike
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1994-12.html
or
http://www.darwinawards.com/personal/pe ... 02-21.html
cheers, Tom
Thanks Tom, I liked those, although if true the cartoons are in rather poor taste. I remeber years ago a friend telling me that some relation had died while on holiday on a some Pacific island. They said that while relaxing on the beach a coconut dropped on their head and killed them. Probably another urban myth . . .
Apologies for posting such appalling smut.
Apologies for posting such appalling smut.
Oki, here's one joke that works good in Belgium -we're quite proud of our beers.
Three breweries' representatives have a meeting in the morning. There's one rep from Stella, one from Jupiler and one from Heineken.
The rep from Stella calls the bartender, and shouts '3 Stella, please'. They get their glasses, which after a while run dry.
The Heineken rep calls the bartender and shouts '3 Heineken, please'. They discuss a little more and a while later their glasses are empty.
The Jupiler rep calls the bartender and shouts '3 Heineken, please'. The other 2 look astonished. The Jupiler rep takes his watch and says 'It's too early still to drink beer'.
Enjoy your sunday
Three breweries' representatives have a meeting in the morning. There's one rep from Stella, one from Jupiler and one from Heineken.
The rep from Stella calls the bartender, and shouts '3 Stella, please'. They get their glasses, which after a while run dry.
The Heineken rep calls the bartender and shouts '3 Heineken, please'. They discuss a little more and a while later their glasses are empty.
The Jupiler rep calls the bartender and shouts '3 Heineken, please'. The other 2 look astonished. The Jupiler rep takes his watch and says 'It's too early still to drink beer'.
Enjoy your sunday