EuroEnglish

[petal]

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 lessletter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when thetroublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a realy sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand each ozer.

ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!

[MD69]

you made my day!

I laught so much I felt from my chair!

Anyway, they'll need some more substitution to achieve what they do with their "teknokratic writing"!

cheers

[netguyjoel]

As an Amerikan...prety swet

[Herr Voigt]

komt di noie ortografi?

[garyb]

QE1 is proud that her invention for ruling the world is working so well...

[braincell]

Import Succeed!

[garyb]

[valis]

So the North American Union will eventually migrate to spanglish then? (and what about the french Canuks?)

[Shroomz~>]

So the North American Union will eventually migrate to spanglish then?

Yep, Spanish is to be the 1st language of the NAU.

(and what about the french Canuks?)

Apparently they're to be rounded up & put in basket weaving centers.

[siriusbliss]

LMFAO

It's even funnier knowing that many of my German friends speak better English than I do (grammatically speaking in particular). And definitely better than my hack German.

G

[garyb]

even funnier is that the Mexicans who love Spanish are run by Germans(Mexico won it's independance from Germany, err, Austria)!

[dawman]

All of the outragouesly beautiful women from Brazil, Argentina and Mexico are living proof of that too...........Thank The Lord.
I got to work with a Latino singer who drew as many women to a show as Elvis did.
They dress up real classy, incredibly sexy women down there.
Until you actually go to Brazil, Argentina or Mexico you haven't seen nothing.
However Coral Gables Miracle Mile in Miami is as close as one can get.
One could just walk up and down the street once and your balls will be smokin' the rest of the day.

[Shroomz~>]

The plan you didn't know about -

[siriusbliss]

Geez, that would be worse than NAFTA or the NAU

Greg

[dawman]

In Texas they use 2 syllables for the word YES.
They pronounce it YAA-YES..............no shit.
When I go to N'Orleans I usually take the train as I can carry many cases, etc. When we get to Texas, from there I must really concentrate on the words people speak...
N'Orleans is even worse.
The word Onion is hardly discernable.
For example phoentically speaking.........

Then you put a liitle wine right here, and then add your onion.

In N'Orleans it is pronounced like this.

Den U puhta liddle whi richeer, anden addyo OWNYOWN>..........@$#wtf..??

[Shroomz~>]

Whoever drew up the map of the plan forgot to give BC a dope leaf flag with arrows pointing to all over the United State of Texas.

[MD69]

programmed this fall on your tv set.

Economist say it will bring 1% growth due to reprint of documents.

a rally is expected on paper industry

cheers

[garyb]

cheers

[MD69]

Fictuous world facts again:

Following NAU launch, Mr Obama, President of the USA is going in Europe to initiate the ambitious USWC (United States of "nearly" White Caucasian) which will expand the new country with Europe.

On this concern, Dick Cheney, the brilliant strategist commented in his cryptic language:
"we will kick all this kleenex countries assh..oles if they want their money back!"
An audacious concept which can be translated as a program of technology exchange with emerging countries in order to improve economic inpairments.

This new country would have the reviewed beatles song "all we need is money" for hymn and "in Gold we trust" as device.

A breaking news on the biology front:
Following the exceptional concept of genetic immigration known around the world as "French fraternity program", a brilliant genetician Mr Sarkozy, said he have isolated the crime genom. He commented saying "it seems to be linked to some racial species and doesn't appear in peoples belonging to the police or the army". This major breakthrough invalidate the concern about militaries exactions raised recently. French peoples feels relieved as they see more and more policemen with automatic guns in the streets.

About Bernanke unrivaled economic program, we got a comment from Mr Geithner:
"Mr Bernanke program is helping peoples to recover confidence in economy. As it reduce the gap between US dollar and toilet paper, peoples can perceive their wealth each time they go at the toilet. The blame on economic crisis must be put on all these "virtual" indexes. We would better live without".

[Neil B]

Den U puhta liddle whi richeer, anden addyo OWNYOWN>..........@$#wtf..??

Did you use Wordbuilder for that Jimmy?
Is this the new version of East West Choirs?